Baby Sleep Training: How To & Methods – The Ultimate Guide for Parents

I always suggest talking to your baby’s pediatrician and get their thoughts.

• Always remember, go by adjusted due date vs. actual due date (if your baby was born eight weeks early, make sure to subtract eight weeks to their age). If your baby was born around the 38-week mark, you don’t need to adjust further as long as developmentally they are on track.
• For reflux babies, make sure that the reflux is being managed or under control first.
• Get your pediatrician’s A.O.K. for growth and development.

I sleep trained my baby at four months, and I had a successful story (once my baby learned how to fall asleep independently and sleep in the crib – things came together quite nicely.) I was getting rid of a Rock N’ Play addiction, ditching the pacifier, and removing the swaddle all at once.

It wasn’t at all the scary taking hours upon hours to fall asleep. Other than the first two nights – it went pretty well after that.

So it’s hard for me to tell people that when things are really tough – to wait longer than four months, since that’s what I did.

If you’re comfortable holding on until six months…more power to you. You won’t hear me complain.

Is there an “easy” age to sleep train?

In my hundreds of cases where I worked as a sleep consultant, there is no trend for a super easy age to sleep train—just the truth.

4-5 months are sometimes tough since the baby battles with short naps and still has feedings during the night. But yet, I’ve worked with many babies around this age who did amazing!

6-7 months sometimes can be tricky since you’re so close to the 3-2 nap transition. But again, there are always the ones that do great!

I’ve had a lot of great success baby sleep training the eight months + range, especially when they are ready to drop feedings.

The most significant component is doing it when you are ready…. like really prepared. If you’re not prepared, don’t do it!

What if my 2, 3, or 4 or even 5 year old doesn’t sleep?

Have no fear – sleep is going to always go from good, to not so good to good again. Sometimes, even the best sleepers get off and forget all of their awesome sleep skills.

Many parents just go with the approach that their child will just grow out of their issues or figure it out one day. But, that’s when many parents regret not sleep training their child.

Yes, you can still sleep train an older child, but it’s not exactly the same as what works with babies (0-18 months). I use a different set of techniques when working with toddlers or preschoolers since behavioral changes are required. Plus, your child can understand you, so communication becomes a big part of the sleep plan. (Click here to get FREE access to my Preschooler Sleep Made Sleep Workshop).

But are you ready?

Feel free to do a reality check.

Parenting styles go in ebbs and flows… Believe it or not, not all that long ago, parents let their baby cry to sleep the minute they came from the hospital (I don’t recommend this approach). But, guess what, those people are really fabulous, caring, responsible adults. They weren’t ruined because their parents let them cry.

Ask your parents. Were you let to cry? Chances are you or someone you know was and you turned out OK (at least I think so).

My perspective: I had two girls: one sleep trained – one not.

I give a unique perspective since I have two girls. My youngest is the reason I am a sleep consultant. I did not sleep train my oldest daughter, and she was never a good sleeper. I struggled for years with my oldest daughter, and still, to this day, I have to focus on sleep.

My oldest daughter was addicted to a pacifier, always took short naps and when I made the awful mistake of converting from a crib wayyyyyy too early, she went to bed waaaaayyyyy too late and woke up waaaaaayyyyyy too early. She was an overtired hot mess.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda, but if only I nipped our sleep issues in the bud at 4 months, 6 months, or 12 months? Maybe our lives would have been a little easier?

Who knows?

But, I will say that both my girls have strong wills. That’s a personality. It has nothing to do with sleep training.

OK, So You’re Ready for the how to of baby sleep training… now what?

The worst thing I see is someone in their exhausted state decides, “this is the night, we’re hunkering down. We’re just leaving our baby to cry.”

Boy, that is so the wrong way to do it…. so please don’t. OK?

Why, you ask?

What baby sleep training method should I use?

There are several different sleep training methods that you can use to help teach your baby fall asleep by themselves.

The method you pick is also known as the “soothing method” and is mainly decided based on what you’re most comfortable with and your family philosophy. The methods vary from cry-it-out sleep training to no-tears methods (but sorry, folks – all the methods below, maintain some level of crying since this is new for your baby).

Of course, this list I’m sharing below isn’t the only way to sleep train your baby. These are just some of the more popular methods I recommend.

Click here to Get the Sleep Training Made Easy: Soothing Method Cheat Sheet and learn more to figure out which one might be a better fit for you

Pick Up / Put Down: To me, considered the gentlest of methods. It can be used in combination with a “no-cry” solution or you can wait a period of time between intervals. Essentially, you are picking your baby up. Calming (hopefully) and then putting your baby back down to give him the opportunity to fall asleep by himself.

The Chair Method: This is considered another “gentler” method. Although this one doesn’t necessarily get your baby to not cry, it can help you be with your baby the entire time they are learning to fall asleep independently (also known as fading). Your presence “through sitting in the chair”, moves away from your baby as she learns to fall asleep independently. This is an approach I recommend for an older baby (around 12 months) through preschooler, but it can often be difficult when used with a younger baby.

Controlled Comforting: This method is also known as the Ferber method (thank you Dr. Ferber and his book). Over set intervals of time, you go back in and comfort your baby. I suggest that you can shush, pat, touch and use comforting words. But you do it for only 1 minute and your goal is not to calm your baby down. Your goal is to reassure your baby (and yourself).

Extinction: This is what I consider as “cry-it-out”. You choose not to respond to your child when they are learning this important skill.

Once things are great does that mean I’m out of the woods?

Even the best sleepers are prone to get off track once in a while. There are always sleep regressions, teething, vacations, daylight saving time, and sickness that can cause little things to go from good to suck, pretty quickly.

But, once your child has independent skills, things should rebound pretty quickly. For the unlucky families, you may have to re-train down the road. But many parents usually don’t have to, since they have great sleepers for the future.

Your Turn:

Sleep training methods may never be in your future. But if they are, the goal of this article is to help you figure out a solid plan. (So you do it right the first time.)

Don’t think that you have to go it alone. If you need additional help you can have me help (heck, I can even create the plan for you). Once your baby becomes a champion sleeper, you may think it was the best (worst) thing that you’ve ever done for your family.